The American Trip Begins
Though an airport should be the starting point of many an adventure, for me it tends to be 2 or more hours of twitching expectation that something at some point is going to go wrong. Today was no different. I arrived two hours before the flight with a mixture of butterflies and a need for breakfast rumbling in my stomach. I don’t know why I get so internally wound up by the thought of air travel. I’m not afraid of flying, but I have missed the odd flight, lost all my money, attempted to land 3 times on one flight and arrived somewhere without my luggage. Hmm. I have come to the conclusion that it is better to carry as little as possible through airport security as the constant picking up and putting down of your belongings only increases the worrying potential to leave or lose the very things your are trying not to forget. I now think I could be butt naked and still set off the security alarm. Maybe I have some implant somewhere that I don’t know about as when I get to the detector as sure as night follows day the alarm goes off. Sir, Please step forward always sounds like I have just heard over the PA, hey everybody stop and watch this moron walk back through and set it off again. Look he has no belt, shoes or dignity, let’s all watch. Another walk through, another alarm and a thorough wave of the wand and I moved on. I went to the tray area to collect my bag and personal belongings and noticed one of the security guards by the monitors that show the bags as they go through going in for a closer look at the screen. I saw my bag come through the plastic curtain and take a detour down the conveyor for “suspicious”. Here we go I thought as I stood there with no shoes and my trousers nearly falling down as I hadn’t finished putting my belt on. Sir do have a fold away knife in this bag? Not that I know of I answered. Do you mind if we open it up? I thought, well at this point I’m not to sure I want you to open my bag and pull out a knife that I had just told you I wasn’t aware of. Please, carry on I replied. A quick empty out and my fold away Allen key set was produced. Sir this will have to be left behind. I did feel like stating that no terrorist with a modicum of self respect would try and take down a jet with an Allen set. Did she not realise how long it would take to get enough cap head screws out of the interior to have any effect on the plane staying airborne. Sir you can mail it back home if you would like to fill a form out. No bother I replied, it was only a couple of pounds. I did feel a tad annoyed when later in the departure lounge I noticed the small boy with a toy bow and arrow set trying to impale his little sister to the toilet door. We have potential juvenile murder about to happen but I have to buy a new Allen key set.
Airport 1, Phil 0. Once I arrived in New York City I thought it best to try and make it to my hotel without getting a taxi. This was quite straight forward. I caught the Airtrack from J.F.K to Jamaica station then the E train straight to 50th Street station. Without a map though actually finding the hotel was a bit more trying but once I sussed out the direction of the street numbers it was only the distance that was the hard part.
This city is crazy. Not my words but the shouted words of an “end of the world” bible thumper who was having trouble competing with topless NY girls, the Disney and TV characters charging for photos, the guitar playing cowboy in his underwear and the other preacher whose message was partially similar to his own but was coupled with the reassuring information that Jesus saves. For the first day I just walked around the local districts mostly looking upwards as this city looms over you. Whether it’s a sky scrapper, church or just the world’s biggest video advertising board you certainly feel small in this place.
